Hopefully, everything would be perfect. My family supported me and constantly aided me practicing walking up and down the stage, bowing and my posture. However, something vital was missing. All of my outfits were dull and not formal enough so on Wednesday, I proposed to go shopping. We went to Holister and Aeropostal but none of the dresses were appealing to me. There were many nice dresses at Forever 21 and Le Château but they were not made for my age and most of them were just summer dresses. Sighing, we went home. The following day, we searched in more stores like Zara, Tommy Hilfiger, Mexx, Aritzia, Bench, American Eagle and Guess. Still, we were disappointed. On the day before the recital, we went into H&M with no hope. My eyes quickly scanned the shelves and they stopped at the perfect dress. It was an ankle long white dress with black stripes and a flower on the left sleeve. I knew that it was made for me.
Finally, the day of the recital arrived. I urged my family to go and after fifteen minutes, we were at the theatre. Although we went extra early, there were still no parking spaces.
"Um...", my father asked,"When does the recital begin?"
"1:30", I replied.
My father looked at the clock. It read 12:30. Everyone began shouting at me.
"It is only 12:30!" they protested.
In the theatre, Mrs. J called me up and handed me the script.
"Smile dear", she whispered in my ear.
Smile, I told myself.
Talking was always hard for me. In kindergarten, my voice seemed to be caught in my throat whenever a teacher spoke to me. Try as they may, they just could not get a sound from me so they used one of my very few friends to communicate with me.
Things progressed a little. We began doing presentations in Grade 2, however, my voice would just disappear and my heart would race whenever my classmates sat before me. To go around that problem, my teachers had private presentations from me. Relieved that my audience shrunk dramatically, I incorporated hand gestures and gave fleeting looks at my teachers.
In grade 4, I moved to a new school. There were only two of my former classmates and they were both boys. Desperate to have new friends, I began trying to talk to my new classmates. They already had friends from their previous schools and they never paid much attention to me, it took my every nerve to say "Hello" but no one heard. One day, after taking several deep breaths, I walked up to one of my classmates, Mona, and asked if I could join their game. Surprisingly, it felt nice talking to another person and it wasn't as that hard or intimidating. We soon became friends and seeing that talking wasn't all that horrifying, I began talking and playing with my new classmates and my web of friends grew larger and larger. Of course, I had to make new friends as everyone needs someone to communicate with and at recess and lunch it became very boring sitting on a rock watching other people play. Excited that I had made new friends, I moved on to my presentations and how to fix them. Although, my presentations would not be as nearly as well as my classmates, it was worth a go.
My presentations were yelled out and after hundreds of self-made reminders, my pace slowed down. Every time my name was called to present, I plastered a smile onto my face and forced my eyes upwards to meet the eyes of the audience. Still, my smile would fade and my eyes constantly found a spot on the ground to stare at. I began writing "Smile" and "Look at the audience" on my cue cards and it became less stressful and more natural for me to talk to a crowd.
In Grade 7, my school introduced a program called "Peer Tutoring" where people help others that are having troubles at school. After spotting the announcement on the bulletin board on the first week of school, I signed up and when my mom received the letter that stated that the school had accepted me, her jaw dropped. The first time went badly. It was hard to look into my tutees' eyes and once again, my voice was barely a murmur. These people did not act like any of my friends and their personalities ranged from shy to rude. They had very short attention spans and were only keen on being dismissed and talking to their friends. I had no idea how to work with them at first but after many tries of Peer Tutoring, it became easier.
In class, my hand shot up voluntarily to answer my teachers' questions. In fact, they have stopped calling on me. Now knowing how to deal all different types of people, teachers did not seem so frightening. In debates we have in class, I constantly presented the argument and counter arguments that my team relied on me the most.
Back on stage, I pulled down the microphone and cleared my throat.
"Welcome", I said, my voice ringing around in the theatre.
It was the first time I heard my voice though the mic and it was clear, concise and confident.
"Thank you", Mrs. J said as the audience broke into an applause after the last performance. Her eyes were directed at me and she smiled.
Thank you Mrs. J for giving me this chance, I thought in my head.
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