Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World that can’t Stop Talking

Introverts and extroverts, these are the terms that I first heard of in the book Quiet by Susan Cain. The book informs us about how the world often undervalues introverts and their strengths. It explores how introverts can be as successful as extroverts without having to act like one and it also mentions many myths that come with being an introverts, such as shyness and their tendency of avoiding people. As an orchid child and an introvert, I can often relate to this book.

As a child, I rarely spoke in class and all my teachers would prod me to “come out of my shell”. In group situations, my ideas were always pawned off to the side as it was hard for me to project my ideas. Every time my mouth opened, it seemed as if no one heard me.Whenever there was a chance to work individually, I would. In parent teacher interviews, my teachers would always address the problem of my speaking habits.

“We need to put in a volume button in her and crank it up,” my teacher once joked.

With a laugh, I was wondering inside how I could talk louder; this was my highest volume. How could I speak louder without starting to yell? Once, when I was in a conversation with my friends, my teacher walked by.

“Wow, that’s the most I have ever heard you say,” she laughed.

In school, whenever there were public presentations, I would spend hours in front of a mirror, practicing my speech, and writing little notes at the edge of my cue cards to be louder. During the actual presentation, it seemed to me that I was screaming, yet my teacher still said I was too quiet.

At parties, while everyone was jumping around, dancing and screaming at each other, I preferred to find a corner, silently walking around the edge of the room, only participating occasionally. At recess, while everyone was playing soccer and talking, I found a book and read. My favorite pastime with my friends was to read. I had few very close friends; we were always counted as odd and enjoyed many deep conversations.

My report card always had special comments in the “initiative” section, because of my lack of participation. After many of these cases, in classes, I would put on my extroverted persona and put up my hand to answer all my teachers’ questions, also tried joining in on my extroverted classmates’ conversation, but felt out of place. When I wanted to talk about the latest best-seller, everyone else was talking about the latest trend in shoes. Growing up in an Asian American family, I was always encouraged to study and even though my parents always welcomed my friends over, my main priority was to study.

According to this book,I was categorized as an introvert, a part of almost half of the population. It now makes sense why I hated conflict so and was always aware of what word comes next. In arguments, I would either give in and agree, or back away. Many people took advantage of that and wheedled and coaxed me into giving them a favor. I have learned through the book that saying "no" and hissing doesn't necessarily offend or hurt others and can even win respect.

Learning from Quiet, I was able to balance my introverted habits with my normal day, filled with participating in class and tutoring others. Even though at times, my shyness kicks in, the book helped me a lot. Not only do I accept myself, but have also found many introverted friends who share the same interests as me.

In class, it is easier to put on my extrovert persona after a good hour of reading, and also easier to hold interesting conversations with others having different personalities. When doing fundraisers, I project my ideas more often and using my quiet determination, am able to get others to listen.

While my extroverted friends accept the fact that I don't participate a lot, on the other hand, I try to contribute more ideas onto our discussions.

“Matthew, much to his own surprise, was enjoying himself. Like most quiet folks he liked talkative people when they were willing to do the talking themselves and did not expect him to keep up his end of it,”
L.M. Montgomery the author of Anne of Green Gables wrote.

In general, introverts should stay introverts, as they have their strengths as well. Although the world may still be admiring the reckless and fearless extroverts, we can change that by joining the Quiet Revolution. Introverts are like buried treasure, they are priceless, but just prefer to be hidden.

Go to http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/susan-cain-ted-talk-2014-quiet-revolution/ for more on the Quiet Revolution.