Kindness: Is it from the Heart

In everyday life, we are told to be kind towards others, treat others the way you want to be treated and respect people. In our early years, teachers, parents and all adults teach us to be respectful and polite. We seem to have an instinct that makes us treat others kindly. Yet, in our deepest hearts, we aren’t so kind and warmhearted. Our desire to be kind will most likely be subconsciously attributed to our desire for everyone else to treat us the same way. We may want to gain a reputation of a kind person, allowing more people to trust in us. Perhaps our drive to be kind isn’t from the goodness of our hearts, but from our own personal gain.

When I was younger, I once helped my sister wash the dishes. The following day, it was my turn to wash the dishes and I asked my sister to help.

“I helped you yesterday, so you have to help me today,” I had told her.

Most people, when doing a kind act, expect it to be returned. Perhaps they refuse it, but subconsciously we all expect it. The saying what comes around goes around can be attributed to this. If the other person refuses to help or show kindness back, our first reaction would be to not show kindness back either. On the other hand, when someone shows kindness to me, I feel obliged to do the same thing. There are many instances where people who don’t get along become the best of friends after a bit of kindness. Maybe it is the deepest urge for us to return the favor that makes us in turn, nice to others.

Also, when we show kindness to everyone around us, we gain a reputation of being polite, trustworthy, respectable and moral. We can easily borrow objects from our friends or colleagues, them knowing that you will return it back, as oppose to them giving the object acquiescingly, or not at all. For example, a person who never returns borrowed money will soon gain a bad reputation and make it harder for them to borrow money later on.

In conclusion, kindness isn’t a bad thing, and most people won’t have sinister reasons for their kindness and aspire to be kind because they want to be kind. However, there will always be some degree of selfishness, a reason why we are being kind. It could be something small, such as wanting others to be kind to you as well, but a reason nonetheless.